just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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