hotel room ftw
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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