why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
