My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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