she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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