I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
