After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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