how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
