there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
