VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You made out with two different species that night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
