I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
