he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cut my penus on the lid.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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