were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
