When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
