I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
