don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
