dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
