I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
