You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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