I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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