I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
50% drunk capacity currently
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
