I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
