You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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