You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
