I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
