im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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