ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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