i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
