Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
