She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
