What did we do last night that was yellow?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
