they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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