Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
