did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
