This girl is more easily done than said...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
