WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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