grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My vagina just recognized that song.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
