found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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