i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
