theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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