um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
