I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
