Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
