yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
