wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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