I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
