my mouth tastes like poor choices
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
