So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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