what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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