No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
