Sponge bath it is.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was like eating out sand paper
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
